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Wicked Wednesday: A Good Start

It started a while ago. We were just chatting along about kinky things when the subject of switching came up.

“Wanna hear a secret?”

“Yes?”

“I wanted you to take control”

“What? When?”

“When I was teasing you”

And that was the start. From those few lines, a conversation followed about what my submissive side would need. I’ve had unpleasant experiences in the past so my main issue is trust and being a control freak. I trust him and I feel safe but still there is that little voice inside my head that keeps spreading doubt and make things bigger than they seem. But I digress, in that conversation I told my limits, but most of all, the things I found hot. What would get me going.

Needless to say, hornyness ensued but I managed to contain it.

Arriving at the venue we were greeted by the organization. We were checked off and we received some currency each because it was an auction party and you could buy people with fictional money. I got dressed and my cutie had to put on his dress and heels too. I was going to auction wrestling with me and he was going auction himself as sub with me as dominant. I got sold and after the auction you immediately had to deliver so I stripped a bit and got ready to wrestle. I really should remember to wear more clothing because we wrestled on carpet so yes I had quite a bit of rug burn. But it was fun nonetheless.

After that, it was time for me to punish my boy. He had a few points to resolve because he played with himself without permission and came without permission too. He is no fan of pain and therefore his punishment was pain. To make sure he would remember it and not make the same mistake. First of all I wanted him in the right mindset. So chastity cage on and teasing him. I pushed the cutie to the floor and had him kneel in front of me. Pushing him to the floor I put my feet up on him and just waited. He started to wobble a bit and slowly but surely he fell over. Being totally cute I put one foot on his face while he just laid there. After a while of teasing him, I gave him his punishment. He definitely didn’t like it and after he endured it we laid cuddling and talking.

“You want to switch?”

I looked him in the eyes and said yes.
“Well, first you have to unlock something if you want that to happen”  and he looked down at his chastity cage.

I started laughing and fidgeted the keys of my zipper. I unlocked him and after putting the cage away he grabbed my head and kissed me. I could sense the change in him and we headed to change outfits. I put on my schoolgirl skirt and while I was grabbing my top, his hand slipped under my skirt and he said while gripping my undies “You don’t need these”

Being a good girl I took them off and I instantly felt more naked and more aware of my hornyness. When I finished changing he came up to me with his collar and leash. He put it on me and guided me back to the bar area.

He kissed me and forced me to his knees. I don’t remember exactly what we said after that because I was still being cheeky and he was asking me trick questions. Like what to call him. He didn’t mention it before so I was like, yeah but you didn’t say anything about that. (yes I was being cheeky and an smart ass) Could have been anything that you want me to say. But eventually I did call him Sir while I was on my knees for him.

My knees hurt from the rug burn so I just sat down sideways in front of him.

“What should I do with you?”

I said I didn’t know and he pulled me up again. We walked towards the other room and in the hallway we started to wrestle. I said with my dry sarcasm, wouldn’t it be easier to wrestle in the room there? You know,  open space and all. We moved into the room and quickly we were on the ground. I don’t know how he did it but suddenly he sat on top of me. I tried to buck him off but it didn’t work. During that process my skirt hiked up and I vaguely was aware my pussy was in full sight. My top also started to come undone and my boobs were saying hi. I’m sure nobody did mind that. Must have been because he triggered me that I at some point just didn’t try as hard to get him off me. His hand found its way to my pussy and he felt how wet I was. While I was squirming and flailing my legs around a bit, he was playing with my pussy and people were definitely enjoying the view.

I whimpered and squirmed as he kept teasing me. He knew what I wanted. I wanted him and sex. Rough sex. I wanted him to take me. But for that I needed to train him first. Teach him how I work and what works for me. It really felt like topping from the bottom (definitely in a literal sense) but it is needed communication. He does want me to feel safe and not fuck up. I trust him, but i am also a control freak. So to truly let to go I need to be stuck.

It was really hot until I had to sit up for a bit because my head was exploding and my neck was stuck. So after a break and some quiet time we continued a while later.

Throwing me on the bed he forced me down face first and yet again I tried to struggle my way out. I was getting less and less defiant and wanting to give in. Feeling him on top of me, not being able to move. My barriers faded but I still wasn’t completely there. Definitely horny as fuck though. So that one time at the party wasn’t enough.

Next time, more?

Definitely a good start…

If you want to see/read more from Wicked Wednesday, click the image below.

wickedwed

Changing needs

So lately my kinky needs and preferences changed a bit. They shifted. I have been craving the submissive side more and more. My dominant side is still interesting but only when I do actually feel like it. And at the moment that’s not a whole lot. My sadistic side still is more present compared to other dominant things.

My submissive side has been wanting to come out and play, more and more. Being a switch at heart allowed me to explore a lot of things already, mostly on the dominant side though. Which is great but my submissive side was hiding during that. Always in the back of my mind, dreaming of things that I want some day. And now that side is emerging. That voice inside my head, picturing things that I’ve been wanting to do for ages. It has been growing stronger, my bounces stronger as well. My dominant side is still present but not as dominant (pun intended) anymore.

I love to explore at heart, and I will keep exploring.
And with that exploring, I have a few things that are on my (kinky) to do list.

Explore more of my submissive/slutty side.

Have a threesome MFM

Have a moresome

Have sex with a celebrity (just for fun, because who wouldn’t want to?)

Get a full body paint

No I am not gonna make it a year to do list, I do like to explore at my own pace. Sure, I’m greedy and want it all but I’m patient too. And I am very happy already for all the things I got to explore with different people. And yes I have a hell of a lot more on my wishlist but I do like to keep it short. And yes I am going to try and do more posts, I do miss you all and will definitely be here more!

 

If you want to see/read more from Wicked Wednesday, click the image below.

wickedwed

What I am not

So I went to check out a bdsm studio the other day. Because I am seriously interested to go be a professional dominant. I came in, had a chat with the owner, a lovely lady who obviously took pride in her work. I had a small tour of the place and it was an awesome studio. Well decorated and well stocked on equipment.

We talked about the more practical stuff about if I would be starting there. That I could start with a day in the weekend. But I had to do my own marketing. All pretty valid points. Even the money and distance part wasn’t bad or discouraging.

What just didn’t sit with me right is the fact that she said that I would need to be more over the top. More the typical strict mistress in a pretty shiny outfit.
That would mean that I wouldn’t be myself. I would be a different persona. I would be playing a part. I’m not some strict mistress in shiny latex yelling commands at a groveling sub.

Hell no.

I am not that kind of person. I will not change who I am. I get the concept that it’s your job and with a job you have to act a certain way and be nice to people you’re usually not nice to. Or the other way around in this case. But doing that, for me, part of the experience is lost. Part of the magic is gone. Part of the chemistry would be gone.

So that got me wondering. I wondered if there are professional dominants out there that are like me. No screaming, no bitchyness, no getting all dolled up and dressed pretty for the submissive. Just being yourself, enjoying it all.

 

I am not a dominant who needs clothing to assert her dominance. I can be dominant naked or in a baggy pants and sweater just as good.

I am not someone who asserts her dominance by screaming and being bitchy.

I am not someone who plays her part and portrays herself differently than she is.

 

I am a caring person.

I am who I am, no matter what I wear.

I am proud of my dominance, the way I do things.

I am not ashamed of myself

I am happy with my life and the relationships in it.

 

But I certainly wouldn’t mind giving being a professional dominant a try, as long as I can still be me.

 

If you want to see/read more from Wicked Wednesday, click the image below.

wickedwed

Sex and ADD

As some of you might know or might have read, I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). This means for me that I get really easily distracted and some things can be more of a challenge. Crowds tricky are for me because at some point I will have hit my information overflow moment and I need some peace and quiet. Usually my body will tell me this by making me cry, thanks body, for that mechanism. This is because I can’t filter my input. Normally people can filter what they want to hear/see/smell but I can’t. This means when I’m in an area where there are all kinds of different sounds and impressions, I can only take so much before I need to get away from it. For instance when you’re talking to someone one on one, you generally focus on them. For me that takes a lot of effort to follow the conversation because at the same time I hear that car pass in the distance, see someone walking past, and so on. Why am I telling this you ask? Well it can be hard sometimes to understand something that ‘normal’ people can’t see. If you want a more detailed explanation, you can read this brilliant post

Anyway, I was going to talk about sex and ADD. Sex for me is a really tricky thing. I can enjoy it but I don’t come from it. Masturbating even in front of the bf is already really hard for me because it requires a lot of focus for me. If my mind goes and wander, no orgasm will happen. I’ve even had it with masturbating on my own that my mind just couldn’t focus enough to make it happen. So for me, orgasms mostly happen on my own, while masturbating, reading porn while laying in bed, face down grinding into my Doxy. And that’s okay. I’m very happy that I’m at least able to come on my own.

This also means that sometimes I get bored during sex. Or think about something completely non sexy. Like things that need to be done or shopping lists. And if course with that, my sexy mood goes down the drain. Not to mention it is hard to get in the mood in the first place. So yes it can get silly quickly. My excitement and my ability to stay in the mood, all comes from my brains. It is not my body that needs stimulating, it is my brain. This is why I find it important to be with someone that excites my brain. If you can do that, my body will follow. But still, only for so long.

For instance, I had sex once with a guy while Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom was on in the background. And I can say, all that screaming, is quite distracting.

Because of this, my interest for sex isn’t that strong. For me cuddling and petting is something way more interesting and more of a bonding experience. Plus, especially with new partners, it can be less frustrating. Don’t get me wrong, I do like sex. It just can be awkward and boring at times. I can be a steaming, sopping mess, but just one random thought and my mood concentration can be broken. I do so love exploring a new partner’s body and learning all about the noises and little things they do when having sex. But a lot of the time, I’m just thinking ‘Come already and get it over with, I’m bored and just want to cuddle.’

My affinity for kink is a good way for me to make things more interesting. I like a lot of different things and these make the possible options of things I could do with a partner very exciting.

My love for tease and denial is a great way to incorporate something sexual into kink. I love it, seeing how turned on I can get by turning on someone else and denying them. I just love the control, partially because I don’t have much control over my own body (especially the brain part) but also because I just love to be in control. Yes that might be my controlfreak part.

For me, kink gives me another way of expressing myself, without the extra pressure of anything sexual. It’s great to be able to play with someone, without the pressure of a sexual undertone. Of course, I don’t mind sexual play either but it needs to be clear from the start. Especially because it’s less interesting to me to have actual sex combined with kink.

As a little bonus you actually managed to read it all. Here’s part of the possible brain/vagina conversation that started of with me thinking ‘OMG, he’s too wide.’ during sex. After sex, I told him… and this came out. Needless to say, I couldn’t stop laughing.

Okay nervous system, send this to brain.

Dear brain, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Sincerely Vagina.

Dear Vagina,

It seemed like a good idea at the time. And well, we have a lot of faith in you. You do good things and we know you can rise to a challenge.

We look forward to working with you again soon.

Dear Brain,

Seriously?!

There are going to be some changes around here. First of all we get full veto of anything that gets put anywhere NEAR us. And we are teaming up with ass now because it’s pretty worried about the new developments too.

Seriously, that was messed up

Dear Vagina,

That was a long time ago, now you have to let this go.

Also, SQUIRREL!

Dominant

I identify as a kinkster as it’s one of the wider terms out there without pinning you down. Technically I’m a switch yes but there is much more to it. At the moment I’m mostly dominant because that side is more appealing to me currently so I do nothing with my submissive side. You could say that I enjoy being a female dominant but again so much more to it. The way I usually describe myself is sweet, with a sadistic side. I have heard the phrase ‘but you’re so innocent and sweet looking’ plenty of times. Just because I’m a dominant woman, doesn’t automatically mean I’m a bitch. Sure, I can be one but I’m not one all the time. I’m even described as too sweet sometimes. So it can come as quite a shock if someone finds out about my kinky side. And yes their faces are quite amusing to watch when they do.

Being a dominant woman, I have played with the thought of becoming a professional dominant. It definitely something that appeals to me and I would be happy to explore. It would be an interesting thing to do and certainly something I would enjoy. But just like other things it would be a lot of work. I’m not shy of hard work but taking a step in a different direction can be scary sometimes.

Something I do detest though is all the instadommes (boom, suddenly you’re the perfect dominant) and scammers that are out there and think that just because they are bitchy, they are dominant and can demand gifts and money. These people don’t even care about any kind of kink and are just interested in taking your money and moving on to the next victim. You won’t get anything in return apart from regret.

I have met many submissive men in chat rooms but I’ve found that the more grounded and ‘normal’ they are, the better. It is better to spend your money on a professional, whether it be an escort or dominant, than waste it on someone you don’t even get anything but bitchyness back from. You may be submissive but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have standards.

Being a professional is called professional for a reason, because it’s something you do for a living and you put in a lot of hard work. Besides the professionals there are the lifestyle financial dominants, they are out there yes. So no, not every non professional financial dominant is someone that is after your money. Even though I can and can’t understand certain aspects of financial domination and why people do it, I accept that it is there. But if I would do it, it is not the most important thing there is. Making sure the submissive is taken care of would be my first priority. Sure, it’s great to get gifts, but I’m not going to ask for them. Unless I have a submissive who actually is into financial domination of any kind. For instance I find a blackmail scenario quite interesting because that way you can push someones limits just a little further to see where it might lead.

The people posing as financial dominants are usually not even familiar with the more basic things within bdsm. For instance they might think financial domination is about money but it’s all about power. Many people crave that power exchange both on the dominant and on the submissive side, or even from both sides. I personally like the control I can have over a person and it’s fun to play with that. Making a submissive think one thing and do something they totally didn’t see coming is one of my favorite things. Because the faces and sounds are the best!

The more I explore, the more I enjoy my dominant side and embrace it. I can be quite shy still though around vanilla people. Having embraced kink, I’m still far from being a magnificent dominant but I always keep exploring and discovering new things about me. And this is a wonderful journey to make. There are always new kinks to explore and new people to try figure out. So who knows what will happen, I will enjoy the journey and see where it will take me.