The Blog

As some of you might know or might have read, I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). This means for me that I get really easily distracted and some things can be more of a challenge. Crowds tricky are for me because at some point I will have hit my information overflow moment and I need some peace and quiet. Usually my body will tell me this by making me cry, thanks body, for that mechanism. This is because I can’t filter my input. Normally people can filter what they want to hear/see/smell but I can’t. This means when I’m in an area where there are all kinds of different sounds and impressions, I can only take so much before I need to get away from it. For instance when you’re talking to someone one on one, you generally focus on them. For me that takes a lot of effort to follow the conversation because at the same time I hear that car pass in the distance, see someone walking past, and so on. Why am I telling this you ask? Well it can be hard sometimes to understand something that ‘normal’ people can’t see. If you want a more detailed explanation, you can read this brilliant post

Anyway, I was going to talk about sex and ADD. Sex for me is a really tricky thing. I can enjoy it but I don’t come from it. Masturbating even in front of the bf is already really hard for me because it requires a lot of focus for me. If my mind goes and wander, no orgasm will happen. I’ve even had it with masturbating on my own that my mind just couldn’t focus enough to make it happen. So for me, orgasms mostly happen on my own, while masturbating, reading porn while laying in bed, face down grinding into my Doxy. And that’s okay. I’m very happy that I’m at least able to come on my own.

This also means that sometimes I get bored during sex. Or think about something completely non sexy. Like things that need to be done or shopping lists. And if course with that, my sexy mood goes down the drain. Not to mention it is hard to get in the mood in the first place. So yes it can get silly quickly. My excitement and my ability to stay in the mood, all comes from my brains. It is not my body that needs stimulating, it is my brain. This is why I find it important to be with someone that excites my brain. If you can do that, my body will follow. But still, only for so long.

For instance, I had sex once with a guy while Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom was on in the background. And I can say, all that screaming, is quite distracting.

Because of this, my interest for sex isn’t that strong. For me cuddling and petting is something way more interesting and more of a bonding experience. Plus, especially with new partners, it can be less frustrating. Don’t get me wrong, I do like sex. It just can be awkward and boring at times. I can be a steaming, sopping mess, but just one random thought and my mood concentration can be broken. I do so love exploring a new partner’s body and learning all about the noises and little things they do when having sex. But a lot of the time, I’m just thinking ‘Come already and get it over with, I’m bored and just want to cuddle.’

My affinity for kink is a good way for me to make things more interesting. I like a lot of different things and these make the possible options of things I could do with a partner very exciting.

My love for tease and denial is a great way to incorporate something sexual into kink. I love it, seeing how turned on I can get by turning on someone else and denying them. I just love the control, partially because I don’t have much control over my own body (especially the brain part) but also because I just love to be in control. Yes that might be my controlfreak part.

For me, kink gives me another way of expressing myself, without the extra pressure of anything sexual. It’s great to be able to play with someone, without the pressure of a sexual undertone. Of course, I don’t mind sexual play either but it needs to be clear from the start. Especially because it’s less interesting to me to have actual sex combined with kink.

As a little bonus you actually managed to read it all. Here’s part of the possible brain/vagina conversation that started of with me thinking ‘OMG, he’s too wide.’ during sex. After sex, I told him… and this came out. Needless to say, I couldn’t stop laughing.

Okay nervous system, send this to brain.

Dear brain, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Sincerely Vagina.

Dear Vagina,

It seemed like a good idea at the time. And well, we have a lot of faith in you. You do good things and we know you can rise to a challenge.

We look forward to working with you again soon.

Dear Brain,

Seriously?!

There are going to be some changes around here. First of all we get full veto of anything that gets put anywhere NEAR us. And we are teaming up with ass now because it’s pretty worried about the new developments too.

Seriously, that was messed up

Dear Vagina,

That was a long time ago, now you have to let this go.

Also, SQUIRREL!