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Dominant

I identify as a kinkster as it’s one of the wider terms out there without pinning you down. Technically I’m a switch yes but there is much more to it. At the moment I’m mostly dominant because that side is more appealing to me currently so I do nothing with my submissive side. You could say that I enjoy being a female dominant but again so much more to it. The way I usually describe myself is sweet, with a sadistic side. I have heard the phrase ‘but you’re so innocent and sweet looking’ plenty of times. Just because I’m a dominant woman, doesn’t automatically mean I’m a bitch. Sure, I can be one but I’m not one all the time. I’m even described as too sweet sometimes. So it can come as quite a shock if someone finds out about my kinky side. And yes their faces are quite amusing to watch when they do.

Being a dominant woman, I have played with the thought of becoming a professional dominant. It definitely something that appeals to me and I would be happy to explore. It would be an interesting thing to do and certainly something I would enjoy. But just like other things it would be a lot of work. I’m not shy of hard work but taking a step in a different direction can be scary sometimes.

Something I do detest though is all the instadommes (boom, suddenly you’re the perfect dominant) and scammers that are out there and think that just because they are bitchy, they are dominant and can demand gifts and money. These people don’t even care about any kind of kink and are just interested in taking your money and moving on to the next victim. You won’t get anything in return apart from regret.

I have met many submissive men in chat rooms but I’ve found that the more grounded and ‘normal’ they are, the better. It is better to spend your money on a professional, whether it be an escort or dominant, than waste it on someone you don’t even get anything but bitchyness back from. You may be submissive but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have standards.

Being a professional is called professional for a reason, because it’s something you do for a living and you put in a lot of hard work. Besides the professionals there are the lifestyle financial dominants, they are out there yes. So no, not every non professional financial dominant is someone that is after your money. Even though I can and can’t understand certain aspects of financial domination and why people do it, I accept that it is there. But if I would do it, it is not the most important thing there is. Making sure the submissive is taken care of would be my first priority. Sure, it’s great to get gifts, but I’m not going to ask for them. Unless I have a submissive who actually is into financial domination of any kind. For instance I find a blackmail scenario quite interesting because that way you can push someones limits just a little further to see where it might lead.

The people posing as financial dominants are usually not even familiar with the more basic things within bdsm. For instance they might think financial domination is about money but it’s all about power. Many people crave that power exchange both on the dominant and on the submissive side, or even from both sides. I personally like the control I can have over a person and it’s fun to play with that. Making a submissive think one thing and do something they totally didn’t see coming is one of my favorite things. Because the faces and sounds are the best!

The more I explore, the more I enjoy my dominant side and embrace it. I can be quite shy still though around vanilla people. Having embraced kink, I’m still far from being a magnificent dominant but I always keep exploring and discovering new things about me. And this is a wonderful journey to make. There are always new kinks to explore and new people to try figure out. So who knows what will happen, I will enjoy the journey and see where it will take me.

6 Comments

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  1. Åsa Winter says:

    This has been something we’ve spoken about recently as a couple. I don’t understand why people do certain things but I can accept them and, as time goes by, I’m learning why some submissives give gifts. I really can’t stand seeing dommes on twitter typing in full caps, telling their followers they’re worthless etc. You have to be careful how you talk to people. They’re providing a service and you seem to have the right mindset. It’s the job of the domme to make sure they’re safe, not just about the money or the gifts.

    Åsa x

    • Rose says: (Author)

      Thanks for the comment and I agree. Giving gifts is not just a one sided thing, I give my submissives gifts as well if I think of something thoughtful. It is just like a normal relationship, it takes giving and taking.

  2. It sounds like you are heading for a new direction in your life, and for what it’s worth, I think you have the potential to be a very good professional Domme because you care about people.

    Rebel xox

  3. willis says:

    Really enjoyed this post and if where you are is like where I am, then there’s a shortage of intelligent, thoughtful pros who are in it for the people as much as for the money.

    The “dominants” of tabloid TV documentaries are a curse (“Call me a little bitch and I’ll send you £100”, etc), making otherwise uninterested women think that this is easy money.

    The men who “serve” them probably come away with a feeling of self-hatred, rather than looking forward to the next time.

    Good luck to you!

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