This Sinful Sunday I’m sharing another photo I made of my play partner while I was away in Norway. He definitely didn’t like these.
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I identify as a kinkster as it’s one of the wider terms out there without pinning you down. Technically I’m a switch yes but there is much more to it. At the moment I’m mostly dominant because that side is more appealing to me currently so I do nothing with my submissive side. You could say that I enjoy being a female dominant but again so much more to it. The way I usually describe myself is sweet, with a sadistic side. I have heard the phrase ‘but you’re so innocent and sweet looking’ plenty of times. Just because I’m a dominant woman, doesn’t automatically mean I’m a bitch. Sure, I can be one but I’m not one all the time. I’m even described as too sweet sometimes. So it can come as quite a shock if someone finds out about my kinky side. And yes their faces are quite amusing to watch when they do.
Being a dominant woman, I have played with the thought of becoming a professional dominant. It definitely something that appeals to me and I would be happy to explore. It would be an interesting thing to do and certainly something I would enjoy. But just like other things it would be a lot of work. I’m not shy of hard work but taking a step in a different direction can be scary sometimes.
Something I do detest though is all the instadommes (boom, suddenly you’re the perfect dominant) and scammers that are out there and think that just because they are bitchy, they are dominant and can demand gifts and money. These people don’t even care about any kind of kink and are just interested in taking your money and moving on to the next victim. You won’t get anything in return apart from regret.
I have met many submissive men in chat rooms but I’ve found that the more grounded and ‘normal’ they are, the better. It is better to spend your money on a professional, whether it be an escort or dominant, than waste it on someone you don’t even get anything but bitchyness back from. You may be submissive but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to have standards.
Being a professional is called professional for a reason, because it’s something you do for a living and you put in a lot of hard work. Besides the professionals there are the lifestyle financial dominants, they are out there yes. So no, not every non professional financial dominant is someone that is after your money. Even though I can and can’t understand certain aspects of financial domination and why people do it, I accept that it is there. But if I would do it, it is not the most important thing there is. Making sure the submissive is taken care of would be my first priority. Sure, it’s great to get gifts, but I’m not going to ask for them. Unless I have a submissive who actually is into financial domination of any kind. For instance I find a blackmail scenario quite interesting because that way you can push someones limits just a little further to see where it might lead.
The people posing as financial dominants are usually not even familiar with the more basic things within bdsm. For instance they might think financial domination is about money but it’s all about power. Many people crave that power exchange both on the dominant and on the submissive side, or even from both sides. I personally like the control I can have over a person and it’s fun to play with that. Making a submissive think one thing and do something they totally didn’t see coming is one of my favorite things. Because the faces and sounds are the best!
The more I explore, the more I enjoy my dominant side and embrace it. I can be quite shy still though around vanilla people. Having embraced kink, I’m still far from being a magnificent dominant but I always keep exploring and discovering new things about me. And this is a wonderful journey to make. There are always new kinks to explore and new people to try figure out. So who knows what will happen, I will enjoy the journey and see where it will take me.
The prompt for this Wicked Wednesday is jealousy and of course this triggered me to write because it is a tricky thing and can easily be done wrong.
Jealousy is a tricky thing when it comes to relations and especially if you are a sex blogger. And especially if you are non monogamous.
And yes having a boyfriend with that makes it even more complicated.
With me and my boyfriend it took some time to get to the stage where we are now (and my boyfriend, also wrote a good post about how it came to be) and yes there always will be some jealousy.
The question is how you handle it. Acting like a child with an overgrown toy going ‘mine,’ is not the way to go. I think everyone can see how silly that is. I find it strange when I hear people overreact just because someone else is looking at their partner. I find it a compliment.
And it took a lot of communication back and forth and a lot of time but we are in a wonderful relationship that works for both of us without having to be “territorial” over each other.
I trust him, he trusts me. It is easy as that. Plus a lot of talking (I know, talking sounds boring but it’s fun and good!) Especially being apart for quite a long time, it really shows that I do need that daily dose of snuggles and affection. For me it is interesting because it taught me that it is the little things that you miss and that even affection from another person can be nice, but not the same.
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