All posts in Experiences

Changing needs

So lately my kinky needs and preferences changed a bit. They shifted. I have been craving the submissive side more and more. My dominant side is still interesting but only when I do actually feel like it. And at the moment that’s not a whole lot. My sadistic side still is more present compared to other dominant things.

My submissive side has been wanting to come out and play, more and more. Being a switch at heart allowed me to explore a lot of things already, mostly on the dominant side though. Which is great but my submissive side was hiding during that. Always in the back of my mind, dreaming of things that I want some day. And now that side is emerging. That voice inside my head, picturing things that I’ve been wanting to do for ages. It has been growing stronger, my bounces stronger as well. My dominant side is still present but not as dominant (pun intended) anymore.

I love to explore at heart, and I will keep exploring.
And with that exploring, I have a few things that are on my (kinky) to do list.

Explore more of my submissive/slutty side.

Have a threesome MFM

Have a moresome

Have sex with a celebrity (just for fun, because who wouldn’t want to?)

Get a full body paint

No I am not gonna make it a year to do list, I do like to explore at my own pace. Sure, I’m greedy and want it all but I’m patient too. And I am very happy already for all the things I got to explore with different people. And yes I have a hell of a lot more on my wishlist but I do like to keep it short. And yes I am going to try and do more posts, I do miss you all and will definitely be here more!

 

If you want to see/read more from Wicked Wednesday, click the image below.

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TMI: Sex, seriously?

1. Do you think being a sex worker is as legitimate a work option as being an accountant?

Well of course it is. Here in the Netherlands sex workers pay taxes like everyone else, so why shouldn’t it be?

2. Which of these rules would you follow if your lover had to have it followed in order to be aroused:
a. wear socks while having sex
b. have the lights on during sex
c. have the TV playing, volume up while having sex
d. the room must be in complete darkness to have sex

The most annoying one would be C, because that certainly will be distracting. Had sex one time with Indiana Jones and the temple of doom playing in the background. That bitch screams a hell of a lot.

The others, I wouldn’t care much about. Unless they are white socks, those are just waiting for a ban. A sock gap isn’t that bad. Actually with women it helps with with orgasms if your feet are warm.

3. You must plan an evening of sex with your lover. Tell us what you’ve planned for the evening.

The whole evening hmmm. Totally depends on the kind of lover though. But one can always start with a full body massage. Lots of cuddling and kisses. Lots of teasing. More teasing. Rope, Doxy, blindfold, more teasing. Sex! I usually just improvise though because I can easily start having a laughing fit I can’t get out anymore.

4. Rule: If one of you is in the mood for sex and the other is not, you give the other 24 hours to ‘get in the mood’ before masturbating. Would this work in for you or in your relationship–why or why not?

Definitely not, pressure would be a bad thing in that case. Takes all the spontaneous fun out of it.

5. Apparently, even though it is the year 2016, some folks still have a “number” that delineates another person from being normal and liking sex versus being promiscuous. What is THAT number for you? According to a recent U.K. report more than 15 sexual conquests for a man can be off-putting, while more that 14 sexual encounters for a woman may give a potential suitor pause.

My count so far is over 20. For me there is no number. Also, nothing wrong with being confident about sex and taking what you want. Promiscuous for the win!

Bonus: How was your weekend?

Oooh well it was lots of fun, I did have quite a bit of fun at a kinky play party. Had a lovely boy to tease and made him do things that he didn’t expect he would dare in public. In short, fun and progress 😉

Wicked Wednesday: Tea date

I checked my phone again for the time and looked at the board. He could be coming around the corner any second now. I’ll admit, I’m not that nervous with dates but it’s always a little exciting. Judging just by his pictures he was darn cute but people are always a little different on pictures. I instantly recognized him from his pictures as he walked around the corner and he recognized me as well. Hard to miss a tall lady like myself. He came in for a handshake but I instantly waved it away for a big hug.

We walked towards the nearest pub we could find because of course, hail came raining down upon us. Sitting down, I had a good look at him while sitting across from him. Very handsome and adorable. Before we met up, we had been chatting for quite a bit and I did mention something about getting very wet and wondering how he would look between my legs. After chatting for a bit, the thought crossed my mind again. I decided I definitely would want him between my legs. Then and there I made up my mind, I had to have him.

After a few drinks we decided to go to another place and we sat opposite of each other again. Further along the conversations, I slowly started to make my move. Crossing my legs, I made sure to have my leg next to his. And I slowly started to caress his leg with my foot. Just subtle enough to be maybe incidental. His body language changed slightly and I kept doing it. The conversation changed and I don’t remember what it was but he was wondering about me behaving. I put my hand on his knee and his expression changed. Slowly stroking it I kept looking him into his eyes and I saw him shiver. I felt his leg starting to tremble when I kept stroking it. He obviously didn’t see it coming and he was totally adorable. I decided it was time for some more action and suggested we go outside for a walk. He agreed and we went outside. Coming out of the pub I grabbed his arm and hooked mine into it. I guided him while we walked and at a nice and quiet spot I turned in front of him and kissed him. I felt his resistance melt away after a few seconds and he returned the kiss. I felt my pussy become more and more wet between my legs and I broke off the kiss again. We walked further until I saw a park. It looked nice and quiet and I dragged him along with me.

I stopped him under a tree and started kissing him again. Slowly his hands became more daring and he cupped one of my breasts. I grabbed him by his ass and pulled him against me. I felt his erection through his pants and started grinding my body against it a bit. One of my hands wandered to his head and grabbed him by the back of his hair. I pulled a bit and broke the kiss. Looking at him, I let my other hand wander to the front of his pants and softly stroked it with my fingertips. His hand slowly made its way to the front of my body and he slowly pulled up my skirt. I grabbed his hand and while pulling it to the side I softly said no. With a whimper he kissed me again and I kissed back. Softly biting his lips, I caught myself and let go again. Trying to restrain myself I grabbed his chin and pushed him back a bit.

His hand was slowly wandering to my front again and he looked at me.

‘Go on’  I said.

He didn’t waste any time and pulling up my skirt he made his way to my pussy. By this time I was utterly soaked already and it even started leaking through my panties. He gasped, feeling how wet I was and slowly let his fingers explore. Wanting to keep him on edge I grabbed his arm again and removed it from my wetness. A slight groan escaped him when I grabbed his erection and squeezed. Turning me on with his groaning I started kissing him again. His hands wandered towards my ass and cautiously he started his fondling. I let him for a bit and I grabbed his arms again. Emphasizing it again with a soft no while looking into his eyes.

Even though we both were horny as hell, I noticed that he was shivering and suggested that we should walk back. On the way home again, I couldn’t stop grinning. Knowing that this would only be the beginning.

 

If you want to see/read more from Wicked Wednesday, click the image below.

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Being out

It’s one of those things that is always lurking around the corner and sooner or later will happen.

Being out.

Out of the kink closet and possibly out of the sex blogger one too.

Bit scary, but seems I can react swiftly and calmly to it.

The scary part being, why did he say it to me? Of course it’s appreciated that he did so I know he’s aware.

‘Hey I don’t wanna gossip or anything but I found your okcupid profile.’

That’s all it took.

I don’t remember exactly what I said but I mumbled something about it being okay and our open relationship.

The awkward moment passed pretty quickly because there were other people around. I think it was more awkward for him since his head was red. I like to think that I’d responded very calmly. Sure, in my head I went oh shit for a second, but I’m pretty open in general about things so it doesn’t bother me.

What I am wondering of course it’s how much he read and how much he found. Did he make the link to my blog? Did he go through all my question answers?

And of course, why did he say something? Fellow kinkster in the closet or just a very polite vanilla friend?
Of course being a very curious person, I’m curious. But I also respect his privacy to not click on his profile.  

Anyway, I don’t mind being out. Mainly, because he’s a friend. And seems to me that he didn’t go all crazy over it. He responded in a correct way and let me know. Thanks, I very much appreciate that. And now I know that it isn’t as scary as I thought it would be to be out to someone. I know now that I can respond calmly and not freak out. Well at least calmly on the inside. It’s only natural to freak out a little bit in your head.

Also, if you’re reading this * waves hi*

Sex and ADD

As some of you might know or might have read, I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). This means for me that I get really easily distracted and some things can be more of a challenge. Crowds tricky are for me because at some point I will have hit my information overflow moment and I need some peace and quiet. Usually my body will tell me this by making me cry, thanks body, for that mechanism. This is because I can’t filter my input. Normally people can filter what they want to hear/see/smell but I can’t. This means when I’m in an area where there are all kinds of different sounds and impressions, I can only take so much before I need to get away from it. For instance when you’re talking to someone one on one, you generally focus on them. For me that takes a lot of effort to follow the conversation because at the same time I hear that car pass in the distance, see someone walking past, and so on. Why am I telling this you ask? Well it can be hard sometimes to understand something that ‘normal’ people can’t see. If you want a more detailed explanation, you can read this brilliant post

Anyway, I was going to talk about sex and ADD. Sex for me is a really tricky thing. I can enjoy it but I don’t come from it. Masturbating even in front of the bf is already really hard for me because it requires a lot of focus for me. If my mind goes and wander, no orgasm will happen. I’ve even had it with masturbating on my own that my mind just couldn’t focus enough to make it happen. So for me, orgasms mostly happen on my own, while masturbating, reading porn while laying in bed, face down grinding into my Doxy. And that’s okay. I’m very happy that I’m at least able to come on my own.

This also means that sometimes I get bored during sex. Or think about something completely non sexy. Like things that need to be done or shopping lists. And if course with that, my sexy mood goes down the drain. Not to mention it is hard to get in the mood in the first place. So yes it can get silly quickly. My excitement and my ability to stay in the mood, all comes from my brains. It is not my body that needs stimulating, it is my brain. This is why I find it important to be with someone that excites my brain. If you can do that, my body will follow. But still, only for so long.

For instance, I had sex once with a guy while Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom was on in the background. And I can say, all that screaming, is quite distracting.

Because of this, my interest for sex isn’t that strong. For me cuddling and petting is something way more interesting and more of a bonding experience. Plus, especially with new partners, it can be less frustrating. Don’t get me wrong, I do like sex. It just can be awkward and boring at times. I can be a steaming, sopping mess, but just one random thought and my mood concentration can be broken. I do so love exploring a new partner’s body and learning all about the noises and little things they do when having sex. But a lot of the time, I’m just thinking ‘Come already and get it over with, I’m bored and just want to cuddle.’

My affinity for kink is a good way for me to make things more interesting. I like a lot of different things and these make the possible options of things I could do with a partner very exciting.

My love for tease and denial is a great way to incorporate something sexual into kink. I love it, seeing how turned on I can get by turning on someone else and denying them. I just love the control, partially because I don’t have much control over my own body (especially the brain part) but also because I just love to be in control. Yes that might be my controlfreak part.

For me, kink gives me another way of expressing myself, without the extra pressure of anything sexual. It’s great to be able to play with someone, without the pressure of a sexual undertone. Of course, I don’t mind sexual play either but it needs to be clear from the start. Especially because it’s less interesting to me to have actual sex combined with kink.

As a little bonus you actually managed to read it all. Here’s part of the possible brain/vagina conversation that started of with me thinking ‘OMG, he’s too wide.’ during sex. After sex, I told him… and this came out. Needless to say, I couldn’t stop laughing.

Okay nervous system, send this to brain.

Dear brain, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Sincerely Vagina.

Dear Vagina,

It seemed like a good idea at the time. And well, we have a lot of faith in you. You do good things and we know you can rise to a challenge.

We look forward to working with you again soon.

Dear Brain,

Seriously?!

There are going to be some changes around here. First of all we get full veto of anything that gets put anywhere NEAR us. And we are teaming up with ass now because it’s pretty worried about the new developments too.

Seriously, that was messed up

Dear Vagina,

That was a long time ago, now you have to let this go.

Also, SQUIRREL!

Review: She Makes The Rules

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When I heard about She Makes The Rules (SMTH) and that it was all about Female Led Relationships (FLR) I was really curious about reading it because it is something that interests me greatly.

When I first saw the index of what was contained in this book, I already got excited. Lots of fun things and lots of information, my favorite! The writing style is also very fun and it is good to read.

I had lots of giggles on numerous occasions and if you take your time reading all the footnotes you will definitely find some funny things in there.

The set up of the book is quite simple but very informative. It is both good for people who don’t know much about the subject, and those already more knowledgeable.

The book treats the different kinds of FLR there are and debunks some myths about them along the way. There is quite a bit of information you can use to make a existing relationship work better or to carefully start one.

Everything is written very clearly and it is very good to read. One of the things that is very recognizable is are the unofficial FLR relationships. FLR is everywhere, even when you might not realize it. Who knows, you might be in one and not have realized it!

Regarding a lot of topics and for me already basic things I agree with Nookie. For instance about how important trust and communication are. These are for me very logical things but might not be as self explanatory if you are just starting out.

Reading it definitely gave me some new insights, tips, tools and handles on how I would like to have a FLR. Very recommendable for beginners to the subject but also for those who are not so new anymore. There are plenty of different things you can pick up or who knows, you might get some good inspiration for naughty, naughty things. I know I did. 😉

You can go over to Nookie her site and have a look yourself what kind of interesting things topics will be discussed, enjoy!