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Abstinence challenges

Every now and then my girlfriend will challenge me to not orgasm for an extended period of time. On average I orgasm once a day so it is indeed a challenge.

That said it’s not impossible for me to do. It can vary on how busy I am. More often than not my mind will almost constantly wander to anything arousing. On top of that I’ll further amuse myself with arousing activities without orgasming.

The only real drawback is that it can get in the way of normal activities. Which is why I don’t abstain too much. There’s also the part where it will make me orgasm a lot sooner, though in fairness I also recover a lot quicker after that. (because of all the bottled up hornyness)

Putting on a chastity device doesn’t help at all of course. That just focusses the attention there more.

However this does entertain me somewhat. See how far I can push it without orgasming.

My current record is two weeks of not orgasming. For safety reasons I came in the shower, which was a smart plan.


Online Erotic Dating

So your girlfriend tells you that it’s okay with her if you sleep with other women. Great news, except for the part where you’re a bit socially shy and wanting some connection with a woman before sleeping with her.

The main problem then with going out there and just hitting on women, is that most women aren’t just looking for a ‘fling’. And it’s unfair to lead them on believing you’re looking for a relationship while you just want sex. The whole first paragraph mentions a girlfriend, so you have the relationship thing covered.

Enter the internet, that wondrous land where you can, in the safety of some anonymity, get in touch with potential partners for sex.

So your first challenge is finding a website where you can do this. There are a lot of them and most search engines will give you a lot of options. But wait, almost all of them require that you enter you credit card info, they promise they won’t charge you but that doesn’t make it any easier.

Finally you find a site where you can sign up for free. But the moment you want to send a message you have to pay up. But this woman sent you a nice message, which she probably paid for. So you pay and have some conversation, then you suggest moving the conversation elsewhere and she gets very avoiding, suggesting you buy more points to keep talking.

Well that was a bust, what else have we got. There are actually sites that are free to use and don’t charge you to send messages. Since this is a free site the percentages are about 50% men, 30% couples and 20% women. Though possibly less for the latter two. So much like normal dating sites, women are bombarded by messages and have to filter out the crud. Which requires being all kinds of crafty to get any kind of conversation going. But it tends to get funnier.

There’s a few types of women you can encounter on these sites.

Relationshipseeker, these women are looking for a relationship via a regular sex site, which just boggles the mind.

The jumbo seeker, unless your penis is over 20cm long they’re not interested.

I’m just here to chat, they’re just here to chat, not even sexual at all.

Bisexual, but actually they’re only interested in women.

One time I saw one who was in a relationship but only wanted to talk to men who were single.

Some of these profiles are probably created this way to avoid being harassed, but in truth it doesn’t keep the jerks and pervs out. I’m gullible enough to believe them and respect their wishes.

One major problem is that a lot of profiles tend to be very sparing with information. It’s very hard to be clever or creative in an opening line when there isn’t much information to work with. One has to resort to canned lines to make any kind of opening.

Eventually you find that the most intelligent communities where it’s not as forced are the kinky communities. Which presents another challenge as you’re not that kinky. It’s not that I’m against kinky things, I’m just not ‘that’ into it. And kinky people tend to look for others to explore their kink.

Oh the trials and tribulations of online erotic dating.

Kinky and Vanilla

It is no secret that Rose is far more kinky than me. Though I have some light interests compared to her I’m practically vanilla. This did cause some tension in the past. While I would try to accommodate her, I just wasn’t into it as much which made it less enjoyable for her.

These days we have something that can best be described as an open relationship. This is not something that happened overnight. It’s something we grew into over time.

In a previous post you can read about how I learned of her adventures and my reaction to them. This was probably the biggest turning point when it came to being more accepting of the open relationship.

At the time she was in Norway and I knew she would want to have some adventures so I already gave her some freedom. The important thing was that at first I set some limitation and she honored them. While she wanted an open relationship she never pushed for one.

I was uncomfortable with the idea partly for a fear of losing her and also that she was getting a lot of attention and I wasn’t. Both were rather stupid reasons.

Her time away quickly taught me that sex wasn’t what made us happy in our relationship. Being together and sharing life was. Secondly making it a competition is just dumb for all kinds of reasons.

She also showed me that she was very picky with who to hook up with and of course shared all the saucy details. Which only helped to turn me on. It was around then that I pretty much accepted it. It made her happy and seeing her happy made me happy.

Ultimately we’re in a place that works for us because we developed an understanding for each other. Plus we’re still planning on doing a lot of things together as well.

For myself as of this writing I have mostly done some online chatting. But no hooking up yet. There’s another post coming on why that is. But I’ve learned that I’m not really in a rush, it’ll happen when it happens. Though Rose is encouraging me.

Male chastity

Anyone who knows something about me, knows that I’m not a very kinky person. So it might strike some as weird that I recently got my male chastity device in the mail. But I rather enjoy wearing it.

When I first heard of them I was somewhat weirded out, but at the same time curious. This is mostly because I’m very curious by nature and prefer to live by a don’t knock until you’ve tried rule. (though there are limits, I tend to use porn to find those out)

So at first I used some clever creativity to make my own chastity devices and learned I rather enjoyed them. Though they had their limits. The real deal works a lot better and can probably we worn under clothing.

It’s weird to describe what I like about it. Primarily it’s the sensation of getting an erection that is then restricted in space. Though I have tested it’s limits it’s very hard if not impossible to orgasm with it on.

Soon I will visit my girlfriend of a week, for a week I’ll hand her the keys. It will be interesting to see how I enjoy that.

So all in all, they are interesting. And it’s the softest kinky things you can do in terms of ‘control’ in relationship. At least in my opinion. The most basic version doesn’t hurt to use and gives an interesting sense of control away.

Of course in my case I just enjoy the senation of a limited hardon while watching porn or getting myself riled up. But I suppose I’d odd like that.

The Internet is for Porn

There’s little argument that porn is the cornerstone of the internet. Given that I’m a guy I make no secret that I watch and enjoy porn. When it comes to my preference however things can get a bit weird. If the usual standards are believed anyway.

See, most porn is boring to me. Unless it has some kind of story going on and involvement in the characters having sex. Apparently this is weird as a man. But my desire for a story is such that sometimes I’ll just skip through the sex scenes if I feel they’re too long.

Honestly though, twenty to thirty minutes on a sex scene can be a bit much. More often than not, these movies lack any kind of ‘buildup’. This may sound kinda duh-worthy. But porn could be so much more if the stories weren’t just a weak excuse to have the people they managed to hire get it on.

If the story is for instance about one person’s adventure into sex, then at the very least this person should be featured in every scene in some way.

Of course I will admit that if I see porn featuring a particularly attractive woman I will look for more porn featuring her.

That said, I tend to watch any porn that passes me by and find out if I find it interesting or not. It’s a little game I like to call “Can I fap to that?”. The results are sometimes surprising.

So if you have any suggestions or tips for porn just let me know. I’m always interesting in new stuff.

PS: Women talking about their ‘titties’ or saying ‘titties’ in general does not arousing porn make.

Starting an erotic blog

Had you told me a few years ago I’d be starting this blog I’d have probably laughed uncomfortably. I was very reserved and also still kind of believing in monogamy and such. This changed of course when I met my girlfriend who herself was already far more sexually open than me.

Heck our first time was in the back of a car and many other locations followed. Before her I was sort of active in online chatrooms and certain sites. I’m a very cerebral person so chatting sexily is a major turn on for me. And I’m also crazy curious. We quickly discovered we both frequented such sites and so we started visiting them together.

She did express her desire for being with another couple and both forms of threesomes. At the time I was still a bit uncomfortable with the idea of another man being involved. (hypocrit that I was I didn’t mind another woman, but never pressed the matter due to fairness)

While we did look for couples with a good connection, which was important to both of us, we never did really hit it off. So instead we tried a swingersclub. While we didn’t do a lot at the time it was very exciting and we did want to do it again. We later went to a sort of convention which also had a swingers cafe where we had fun with each other while others were watching.

After that we did try looking for couples online but it was kind of hard. Meanwhile she was developing an interest in kinky things while I wasn’t all that kinky. She did entertain online contacts with other men, which she was being rather secretive about, but I didn’t want to be the crazy jealous boyfriend. Plus I trusted her fully.

Fast forward to a few months ago. She went to norway for a year for a work experience thing. Which meant a lot of chatting, skyping and swapping out naughty pictures. At some point I asked for more pictures and she suddenly shared pictures from locations I recognized, but pictures I had never seen before. So I wondered where they came from. She explained they were for her twitter and blog, a special twitter and blog I had never seen or heard of.

She was very hesitant to share these with me. She was afraid I might not like what I find. But by then I too curious and I also knew I loved her and she me. What I discovered that she was actually a lot more sexual than I even imagined. And the blog involved stories of experiences she had. Some of which she had while dating me.

My first reaction was somewhat shocked. But that was only very short lived as I started reading the blog. Reading her blog quickly gave me the most massive hardon ever. As it turns out I wasn’t angry at her having done things while we were dating. The stories turned me on like crazy.

From there I became more accepting of her outings because the only reason I wasn’t for it were my own insecurities. But finding out it turned me on and I didn’t have to worry about her running off made me more open. So I gradually allowed her more liberties provided she tell me all about it as it really turned me.

I also started exploring the world she was in a bit more. Discovering all kinds of interesting things. It made me want to explore my own sexuality. And she did give me all the freedom I want, though as of this writing I haven’t used that yet, there does need to be some connection.

So now I find myself thinking about sex a lot as well, about things I like and dislike and what I would like to try. And thus the idea to start blogging about it was born. Besides that I might write the occasional fictional erotica.

And that concludes a brief history as to why I started this blog.